When I was little I had a sort of dream to be in the Nutcracker, but I told myself that could never ever happen because I'm not a dancer, and I'm not a professional violinist, harpist, flutist, etc. And I completely forgot about that dream until I was in the pit, watching the musicians, the conducter, and the dancers...I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, thanked God, and before I evem thought of opening them I realized something. I could "see" the music, the magic, the dancing, the story, and the audience with my ears. I could see each face that was watching. I could see how much emotion was put into the roles, and I could see the musicians moving their bows, taking breaths, trilling their fingers, and all the while my eyes were closed. I saw everything around me, but with my ears--and not just my ears, but I could feel it in my heart and soul "This is where you are meant to be, and this is exactly the kind of magic you've been looking for."
After the first time being in the pit, we went back to the rehearsal room and I sat there clenching my pencil, clicking it over and over again, and tapping my feet--I was so excited. And to be quite honest, I wasn't even nervous. I was so excited to be in that pit, and I was so excited to have this childhood dream come true. What makes it amazing is not knowing who is in the audiece. Later in the day, I found out that one of my best friends was in the audience that day with her mom and sister.
On the first performance, my mom chaperoned with us and on the way home, both she and I were so excited. My exact words, "I feel like running a marathon! I feel like turning cartwheels in the mall! I feel like grabbing some random guy off the street and kissing him! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!" You should have seen my mom's face, it was hysterical!
Anyway, I just had to share that amazing experience. I don't have a whole lot of happy times these days, but Nutcracker really changed something in me. My drive, push, and love for theater and being onstage singing at the top of my lungs has heightened by a million.
Okay, that being said, I wrote a new poem. At Wortham Center (where we did Nutcracker), there are little gold stars along the walls, mezzanine, and the balcony. I had a little thought too, and I just had to write it down.
Fluttering like a feather,
It seeps through every part,
It digs further and further
Until it reaches my blackened heart.
Riding a star through the clouds,
I am accompanied by stars,
Flying miles off the ground,
This night is ours.
It’s over as soon as it begins,
I danced in the winter sky,
The warmth still on my skin
From a million burning fireflies.
A star replaces my heart,
I am a new person,
A new work of art.
My soul is now awakened.
Please critique, make suggestions, etc.
Also I can take topic requests for poems and stories. Let me know! :)
Lot's of love,